Vintage Tumblr Themes

Story of a Girl with Peter Pan Syndrome


I must preface this by saying that I’ve never been a lucky girl. I don’t win those scratch off lottery tickets. I don’t win raffles. I’m not lucky.
So, knowing that, I didn’t get my hopes up that I would receive a special TFIOS. 
I get my mail sent to my mom’s house, and when it finally arrived I drove down to get it. I told my mom about all the rare signed ones and how amazing it would be to receive a copy that had been signed/touched by both of my idols. So, I opened the box in the kitchen and slowly opened the book. Upon seeing both signatures I quickly closed the book, put my head down on the cover and almost cried. 
I can’t find the words to describe why it meant so much to me, other than saying that I look up to the Green brothers so much. I admire them for everything they do. 
I am one happy girl.  =D

I must preface this by saying that I’ve never been a lucky girl. I don’t win those scratch off lottery tickets. I don’t win raffles. I’m not lucky.

So, knowing that, I didn’t get my hopes up that I would receive a special TFIOS. 

I get my mail sent to my mom’s house, and when it finally arrived I drove down to get it. I told my mom about all the rare signed ones and how amazing it would be to receive a copy that had been signed/touched by both of my idols. So, I opened the box in the kitchen and slowly opened the book. Upon seeing both signatures I quickly closed the book, put my head down on the cover and almost cried. 

I can’t find the words to describe why it meant so much to me, other than saying that I look up to the Green brothers so much. I admire them for everything they do. 

I am one happy girl.  =D


I Don’t Know What I Want 

The problem I have with blogging is that I have TOO much to say. I guess my mind battles with the concept of ‘all or nothing.’ Either I write down everything that I am currently thinking and feeling or I write nothing at all. On top of that, I hate my blog, not the words and feelings and expression, I hate the layout and format. I’ve been changing it a few times a week. Toying with this and tinkering with that, but I am never satisfied. I don’t know what to do. In fact, I’ll probably change it again before I post this. I’m not proud of my blog and until I rectify this situation, I don’t want people coming here.

This… is a problem. I feel like I’m going to explode…

I’ve started and stopped so many blogs because I don’t have the focus to do it, but I am willing myself to finish and post it this time! I’m so dedicated that I’ve made a list of things that I’m going to talk about, so here goes nothing.

*Note* The words inside of the ” // \ ” is the song that is playing at the time. In case anyone doesn’t pick up on that…

The following is an example of a blog that I started about a week ago and abandoned. “( )’s” indicate an update on the situation.

I procrastinate in doing everything, sometimes i think that i may hate myself for doing so.

Procrastination > stress > More procrastination > Mega stress > *dies*

Recently, I have been in touch with someone that I haven’t *really* talked to in over a year, but for the past week I have talked to him every day. I’m not going to lie - it feels nice. I used to love this person wholeheartedly and I miss him like crazy cakes. Every time that I text him and he texts me back I feel like I’m in a dream. I’m honestly waiting for the rug to be pulled out from underneath me, it’s too good to be true. <3 (It’s too early to tell, but I’m pretty sure that I was right about the last bit… too good to be true. I still talk to said person every few days or so, but it’s not the same. I wish he would just tell me one way or the other. Just get it out in the open, if he wants to try again, or if I just need to drop it and be done with it. Sometimes I wish that I could go back and start all over again. I miss how things used to be, and I hate myself for that.) //Easy - Rascal Flatts\

                     

On the other hand, I feel as if guys think they are really slick. Did you really think you were pulling the wool over my eyes? I didn’t need the warning because, sweetheart, i already knew. What pisses me off, isn’t the fact that you were doing something behind my back, it’s the fact that you thought I didn’t know.That you thought you were being gentlemanly by filling this poor idiot in on the secret. (Haha, all of this still holds true.)

                                

                                           -End old abandoned blog-

I actually wrote all of that ^^^ whilst I was designing a website for my blog. Aforementioned website has since been abandoned as well. Yay for consistency!

I always want to use this blog as an update on my life, but I feel like that would be really boring, and what few people actually read this, would stop reading. Who cares about the menial goings on in other peoples lives?!?!? Well, suck it up for a minute, I promise the next part will be brief. *pinky promises* //That Should Be Me - JBiebs\

- Finishing up this Quarter of school

- Moved to Brooklet, a five bedroom mobile home.

`Needs A/C

`Need to hook up the internet

`Need to hook up satellite

`*cries in a corner* I don’t wanna be a grown up!!!

See? I told you it would be short, my life is pretty boring, not much to update about. HA!

                                                                                                                                           //Foolish - Ashanti\

I tend to rant a lot on my blog, but… it’s my blog, so I’ll rant all I want. I only go on a tirade on here because in person I rarely voice my opinion to/about other people. Let me just say… people drive me insane!

All of these kids that I know get into new relationships and within the first week they a professing their undying love to one another… Really?

                                 

                                             //Right Here - HeyHiHello\

Um, no. Pu-lease. You talked to this person a few weeks, give or take. You started dating this person, and now a week later you guys are oh so in love? I’m no buying it, in fact, I would go so far as to say that you look like a fool. I can not even begin to explain how irritated I get when people throw those three words around.

       

                                    //Attractive Today - Motion City Soundtrack\

Wow, okay, all this writing and I’ve only knocked out one of the topics on my list for this blog. Goodness, I get easily sidetracked. Back to work.

About a year ago I was talking to this one guy who shall remain nameless (like most everyone else.) He was great, and still is, to be honest. There was one problem though, and it caused me to since stop “talking” to him in that way (whatever that way is…) //Rolling in the Deep - Adelle\ Everyday was like a competition. I was just one girl, in a sea of girls, fighting for this one guys attention and I don’t dig that. He wasn’t a bad guy, he didn’t egg on the throngs of girls that clamored for his eye, but he is fun to hang out with and he’s pretty easy on the eyes. I’m just not one for competition. I bowed out gracefully and that was the end of that pipe dream.

                                   

                                         //Flagpole Sitta - Harvey Danger\

This may be a very feminist thing for me to say, but I hate that most guys treat me (and other girls) like they are just objects. I guess a lot of girls are to blame for this mentality, but this pisses me off more than most other things.

Yea, sexual innuendos and jokes directed towards me are all fun and games every once and a while (especially when I know that you are kidding), but when that is all that spews from your annoying mouth I just want to slap the @#$! out of you. This one person in particular, that I can think of, is the worst about it. Every single thing he says to me/about me is a sexual joke. He thinks that he is funny, and I’ve mentioned over and over how I hate it, but I guess he thinks that I’m kidding.

                       

I’m not kidding. You. Are. Not. Funny…. I hate you.

                                                 //Drops of Jupiter - Train\

I’m going to wrap this up soon, but before I do that I want to make a promise to myself that I am going to try to blog a lot more, even if it’s just a few sentences. To make this more interesting I’m going to do one of those 30 day challenge things, but it won’t be an everyday thing, just a ‘whenever I write a blog’ thing. 

//Galaxies - Owl City\

Challenge # 1

*Weird things you do when you’re alone*

When it gets to quiet I will often times make noises, and I’ve been known to talk to myself. I tend to make weird faces at myself in the mirror. I like to hold my breath until I feel that intense pressure, like I can’t hold it any longer. I love that feeling… Okay, that’s really weird… That’s all I can think of for now.

//Meet Virginia - Train\

Until next time.

P.S. When the f* did Rupert Grint get soooo hot!?!??!?!?